the year that (almost?) broke us all

Every new year is supposed to be a new chapter.  A new page.  A clean slate.  A fresh start.  

2020... not so much.  

2019 wasn't finished with us. (...or maybe, just maybe 2016 wasn't finished with us.  Come to think of it, 2017 was pretty shitty and 2018 wasn't particularly fantastic.)

Fires were already burning in Australia.  Corona virus was already endemic in China.  The world was on fire and a protein-covered piece of DNA was trying to kill us; the vast majority of us here in the US blissfully unaware of the latter.

Looking back, January and February, both with their own smattering of tragedies, passed seemingly unnoticed.  Then came March.  And our world got weird.

When our Governor issued the school closures for March 13th and then put out the March 20th announcement of a Stay-at-Home order for the following week, things were momentarily up in the air with regard to whether or not we would report to work.  I worked on some projects in my home and settled into the idea of being away from the office for at least a couple weeks.  It took a few days, but we found that we were to report back to work on March 26th.  When you're support staff for essential workers who also access sensitive data via multiple applications and can't be issued secured devices, you really can't be away from the office indefinitely.

The drive in to work that day was surreal.  The roads were empty.  The world was quiet.  It was like a rapture had occurred while everyone was at home.  I hit 60 in a 45 and barely noticed.  At work, the compound was empty save for a few cars in our side parking lot.  Many in my immediate department close to take annual leave for the reminder of the week.  People were scared and rightfully so.  Some stayed away for longer. 

Otherwise, it was like any other work day.  This little piece of normal really carried me through the past 5 months.  

Let me be clear, this is not "the new normal".  None of this is normal. We're all hanging on by a thread and everyone wishing for 2021 has another thing coming.  Ain't nothing going to be different then.  We'll still be in this same shit-hole of a situation, going through the motions, wearing our masks, cowering in fear, beating each other up.  So no, I will never see this as normal.

I will say that I have been blessed beyond measure to have a job that is considered essential.  I'm thankful for that.  I haven't had to worry about my next paycheck, or my next meal, or if I would have to put my home renovations on hold.  Don't get me wrong, I don't take any of this for granted. 

Let's see if our thread holds through the next few months.